the world wants us so numb and alone
by callmesandy
Summary: Two parties and an awkward lunch. Also issues of consent, desire, and Flash has a warning.


Not mine, no profit garnered. Title from HEAVN by Jamila Woods. Thanks a!

* * *

Peter was only slightly high. He and Ned and MJ had gone to this party with people Charles knew from his one of his other extracurricular activities. It was actually a lot of people so Charles wasn't the only one who invited a bunch of other people. The townhouse was pretty packed. And a lot of people there liked weed. A lot. A lot. So much a lot. MJ said, "We're going classic, nerds." She dragged them to an actual circle of actual teens passing around a joint.

"What about our lungs, MJ?" Ned frowned and passed the joint to Peter without even trying.

But MJ had just taken a long drag (Peter had heard someone describe it that way) so Peter decided to do the same. He gave in to peer pressure too much.

MJ dragged them to another room "so you two don't get too wasted."

Ned said, "I'm not going to get wasted at all. I care about my lungs."

"Have a beer, Ned," MJ said.

"Will do," he said. He drank it quickly and burped. "Hear how healthy my lungs are?"

"That was not your lungs," MJ said.

They were all sitting squeezed together on a couch with MJ in the middle. Peter was a little high. He was. He leaned his head on her shoulder. "This is fun," Peter said.

"You sound super into it," MJ said. "But we're fun. We're very fun people."

"No, you're not," Ned said. "You're both being super boring right now. Peter's staring off into space and you're just saying nonsense."

"I'm not staring," Peter said. "Into space." He sat up and stared at a painting on the wall. It was very intriguing.

"See," Ned said, gesturing. "Not fun."

"I have a question," MJ said, turning to Peter. "How come I've never seen pictures of you in the suit with a, you know, boner?"

Peter felt his eyes open wider. He did not form a sentence.

"There's tons of them," Ned said. "Tony Stark has some seriously frightening tendrils all over the web and little tiny bots and, literally, Stark Industries destroys pictures of Spiderman with a boner. It's some serious Big Brother shit. Except for a good cause, I guess. Let's not embarrass Peter."

"OH MY GOD, NED," Peter said. He grabbed MJ's thigh for some important reason and said, "MJ, I am not Spiderman." He briefly looked away from the painting.

MJ just glared at him. She said to Ned, "Are there really tons of them? Pics of Peter's," she giggled. "Peter's boner."

Peter leaned forward. He went back to looking at the still life. There was an orange and a pomegranate. He said, "It does not happen all the time, there aren't tons. I mean, the suit kind of minimizes it. There are not tons of pictures. I don't, it's very rare. And yes, it's a privacy violation but it's not the government doing it, it's a private company."

"That doesn't make it better," Ned said. "No one gave Tony Stark authorization into their phones and their devices just because they happened to see Peter. Phones, computers, servers."

MJ said, "Do you have any?"

"Yes," Ned said. He went into his phone and hit a few buttons and then a few more. "Don't worry, Peter, I have them pretty encoded." Then he showed the screen to MJ.

"Oh, God, that's the worst one," Peter said. "Come on, I'm sixteen. In a few months. Bodies are confusing. Saving people, that's what's important."

"It's not that bad," MJ said, dragging her finger on the screen. "The suit does minimize it. Plus, honestly, if people knew Spiderman was a minor they couldn't even share the pics. Frankly, Ned, if anyone knows, you could get arrested."

"Good point," Ned said. "Peter, don't let people other than MJ figure out your identity so I don't get arrested for these pics."

"I'm not Spiderman," Peter said.

"That's totally going to work, Peter," Ned said. "I'm going to pee and see if anyone here is a more capable conversationalist."

MJ said, "You have a really strong grip on my leg." She smiled and patted his hand. "I don't actually mind."

"I'm not Spiderman," Peter said. "Do you believe me?" The pomegranate was next to an apple. Apple, orange, pomegranate.

"Not at all, idiot," MJ said. "Aren't you disturbed by the boner bots from SI?"

"Honestly, not at all. I know it's a classic response of the privileged because it basically benefits me, but it's also creepy, you know. It's a little creepy you were wondering about that," Peter said. "Also, I'm not Spiderman."

"It's actually really funny you keep saying that," MJ said. She had a very firm grip on his very firm grip. "Yes, it's a little creepy perv of me but I'm not, like, interested in some random guy, I'm, you know, it's you."

"It's okay because it's me," Peter said slowly. "Because you like me? Still a little creepy. What if I was creeping on pictures of you, like, I don't know, wet t-shirts."

She looked really sad. "Yeah, that would be super creepy. But you're not."

"Are you upset I'm not, like, being a perv?" He scratched his jaw with his free hand.

"No, I'm upset you don't like me," she said.

"I totally like you," he said. He stopped staring at the painting on the wall. He turned his head to look at her. "I really like you."

"You just didn't react to me admitting I like you," MJ said.

"Sorry," Peter said. "I'm not at my best. I want apple juice. And I kinda knew?"

MJ nodded. She shifted in her seat and it was very disconcerting because usually Peter's spatial awareness was distinctly excellent. Even enhanced. But now it was like he just inhaled and her legs were across his and her hands were on his face. "Neither of us is actually subtle when it comes to, you know, us."

"Except for right now," Peter said, patting her legs. "Except for this party, you are pretty subtle. But like I like you, so I watch you and therefore see you watching me. Did I interrupt you trying to kiss me?"

"Yes," MJ said. "I'm starting to feel a little crispy though, so we should just kiss. We will only be kissing. Not even heavy petting."

"Got it," Peter said. "Good boundaries." He leaned forward and so did MJ and then they were kissing. It was really wonderful, like awesome wonderful. He didn't have a lot of experience even with just kissing but it seemed to be going well, their mouths were open and it felt great. MJ was wearing lipstick or something, it was sticky but not unpleasant. Her skin was really soft. If he tried, he heard her heart. He wasn't sure how far he could move his hands. He said, "Where's heavy petting start?"

MJ sat farther back. "Right here. We should go home. We can take the subway."

"No," Peter said. He stood up and MJ got on her feet very gracefully. "Find Ned," she said.

Ned was very easy to find but they waited discreetly since he was kissing someone, too. A real cutie, Peter thought. It was only right. Ned was awesome.

MJ discreetly tugged at Ned's sleeve that it was time to go. It might not have been discreet. She possibly hissed and said Ned's name a bunch of times. She was really pretty when she did it though.

They were standing outside on the stoop and Peter decided to take decisive action. He squatted down and started opening his phone. It was a lot of steps. His Starkphone wasn't so much top of the line as way on another line together. It took a fingerprint scan, retinal scan and a bunch of passwords. As he was concentrating really hard, he made sure to say, "MJ, I'm not Spiderman."

He could hear MJ roll her eyes. Ned said, "Oh, oh. He's so strong. You would not believe it."

"I believe it," MJ said.

"No, look," Ned said. "Peter, put your arm out."

Peter stuck his left arm out and kept typing his passwords. Ned said, "Okay, watch. I'm gonna hold onto your shoulder but just for your balance." Ned stepped up onto Peter's arm. Peter didn't have to work too hard to keep his arm in place.

MJ said, "Wow. You're just standing on his arm. Just standing there. Can you jump?"

"I'm not going to," Ned said. "But if I did, he could take it."

"Cool," MJ said. "Peter, what are you doing?"

"I'm ordering us a car. Since people keep talking about how I'm Spiderman and I'm not," Peter said.

"Ooh, you have Uber," Ned said. He got off Peter's arm. "An Uber driver will hear us, too."

"No, I'm ordering us a Stark autonomous car," Peter said. "And done." He stood up.

MJ grabbed at his phone and he was moving very slowly so she got it. She said, "Text to Tony Stark, phone! So I think you should -"

"I'm sorry, Michelle," Karen said from the phone. "Only Peter's permitted to to use that function."

"Who the fuck is that?" MJ shoved his phone back at him.

"It's the AI in my suit. Linked on my phone," Peter said. "I have to do a lot of passwords to get to this level."

"Great," MJ said. "Great."

Peter remembered suddenly. "I'm not Spiderman."

Ned nodded. "We know, Peter."

The Stark car came and they all got in. Ned said, "We've learned a lot tonight, I think. One drag Peter is a very spacey version of Peter. After two beers, I'm basically me, with a tiny buzz. I feel like one joint MJ is, I dunno. Pervy?"

"I'm not pervy," MJ said, frowning. "I resent that. It's like, why is it wrong if I have sexy thoughts about, I don't know, Teyana Taylor or Steph Curry? Is that wrong?"

Peter said, "Steph Curry?"

"My dad's family is all from Oakland," MJ said. "The point is, is that wrong? Am I allowed to have sexy thoughts and desires and fantasies? Do I have to wait until I'm eighteen to want sex?"

"Not at all," Ned said. "Mostly, fantasies are okay, I think. At our age. We're figuring things out. We're feeling our way there." He laughed a little. "When it comes to actions, though. That's where it gets more complicated."

"What if I have desires for some Disney kid who's my exact age? Or when Liz thought Peter was cute he's, like, two years younger than her. How does that work on your wrong scale?" MJ seemed very earnest in her questions. Peter was glad Ned was taking all that on. He didn't think he had a very firm idea.

"Okay," Ned said. "Two separate things here. People you know, people who are famous or whatever. Be hot for whomever in your head. When you start leaving comments on their instagram that are gross, that's gross. Otherwise, they're not people you know or could make feel uncomfortable or whatever, so go at it. In your head. But, um. People you know is different. Peter is mature for his age. In some ways."

"We're not counting his abs," MJ said.

"Some fantasies are kind of sick, though," Peter said. "Not ones I have, I mean. But, like, I've heard. From Spiderman. I'm not Spiderman."

MJ shook her head. Ned said, "Peter, you're adding some serious complications to three fifteen year olds in a car."

"You're sixteen," MJ said. "Your birthday is before all of ours."

"Fine," Ned said. "The point is actions and intent. Like if older people want to get with kids and we are kids, that's bad. But we're also not kids, we're teenagers. Of course we want to fuck. Well, some of us. Not everyone. But like, the best world is when we get to figure things out with each other without pressure and stuff."

MJ nodded. "You're brilliant, Ned."

"I agree," Ned said. "Also, this is my stop." The car rolled to a stop and Ned got out. MJ clapped so Peter did, too.

When they got to MJ's place, Peter said, "I really like you. We should definitely, like, hang out. A date. Also, I'm not Spiderman."

MJ smiled at him and actually looked goofy. She never looked goofy. She kissed him briefly and waved the whole way up to her door.

Peter fell asleep in the car and woke up when the car honked. Karen's voice said, "Peter, this is your stop."

xyz

Peter and MJ had been dating since the party and it was inevitable that somehow Mr. Stark would end up meeting her for longer than a quick introduction. Mr. Stark wanted to have lunch on a day when Peter had plans with MJ and as soon as he said that, Mr. Stark insisted Peter invite her along.

So they were at a restaurant in a fancy hotel, not the movies like Peter had planned. Mr. Stark said, "So, this, you two, how long has it been dating?"

MJ said, "Peter didn't tell you the morning after? You can keep track of that, right?"

Mr. Stark smiled. "I was trying to be a good conversationalist. You know, let you talk about yourself?"

"It's been two months," Peter said. "That's not very long." That was a meaningless comment. He was too nervous for decent conversation.

MJ just looked at Peter with sadness in her eyes. Peter said, "Anyway. This place is nice."

"I knew the chef, many many years ago," Mr. Stark said. "Before Pepper."

Peter was almost positive the chef was a man. It was cool Mr. Stark felt comfortable enough with Peter to say that. MJ said, "Didn't that guy take over after the previous chef went down for sexual harassment and assault?"

"Yup," Mr. Stark said. "I know this guy, not the disgraced one."

MJ made a face like she was considering saying something which caused Peter some intense fear. Mr. Stark frowned at her and said, "You know what my dad told me when I was your age? He said ask. Ask and if they're not interested, move on to the next. You're a billionaire, someone will want you."

"That's," MJ said. "That's both woke and deeply narcissistic."

"I know," Mr. Stark said, leaning forward. "Good advice, though. Which I always followed. Before you make any assumptions about me and my past and issues of consent. I never tried to persuade anyone. If they didn't completely want me, I'd move on to the next."

"I didn't assume," MJ said. "Maybe I did, a little. But the track record of rich white guys doesn't bode well, you know?"

"No, my so called peer group is a pretty shitty cohort. And I've certainly made some jokes that didn't age well and I regretted immediately. Or a few days later, or when Pepper pointed it out. I'm an asshole, just not that particular breed of asshole," Mr. Stark said.

"I don't think your dad's advice would work for anyone besides you," Peter said.

"I don't know," MJ said. "If you think of yourself as a billionaire, like, your self worth, it sort of does. You're a billionaire bitch."

"I don't like thinking of my dad giving good advice generally," Mr. Stark said.

The waiter came, they ordered, the waiter left. MJ said, "Wait, just to confirm, were you implying you dated the chef here? Who is a man?"

Mr. Stark smiled. "I wasn't implying I dated him, I was implying I had sex with him. Because I did. So keep that zipped up, okay, kiddo?"

"Of course," Peter said.

"I would never," MJ said, a little offended.

"And we're changing subjects," Mr. Stark said. "So, I don't know, how was that first kiss?"

"Well, it was last year," Peter said.

"No, it was two months ago," MJ said. "Are you talking about decathlon? That doesn't count."

"It counts to me," Peter said. He glanced over at Mr. Stark.

Mr. Stark said, "I'm not your relationship judge."

"It was freshman year," Peter said. "We went to the Decathlon overnight and there was a party in that girl's room and we played spin the bottle."

MJ said, "Are you counting that as my first kiss with Flash, too? Or Liz?"

"If you started dating them, I would," Peter said. "We kissed. That was the first time. I'm being precise."

"I'm being emotionally precise," MJ said. "That was before the spider bite, your DNA has changed since that kiss, so it's not our first kiss seconded."

"I'm not a completely different person," Peter said.

MJ shrugged. "That kiss doesn't count to me, end of argument."

"Weren't you crushing on that Liz girl then?" Mr. Stark had apparently decided to inject himself in their argument.

"Not really, I mean, I started crushing on her after Christmas that year," Peter said.

"The point is MJ's right, you weren't emotionally invested in the kiss, so it doesn't count," Mr. Stark said.

"I guess you are being relationship judge," Peter said. Luckily their food came then so everyone started eating. But it's not like Peter missed MJ and Mr. Stark smirking at each other.

xyz

Peter didn't have a birthday party. A week after his birthday, the three of them went to an end of summer party one of Betty's friends from middle school was throwing. Betty said it was a classic teen movie blow out kind of thing. She'd mostly invited Ned but Peter and MJ were okay to tag along. After all, classic teen movie blow out meant lots of people who didn't know each other from all over the city.

"I assume it's a classic happy white teen movie blow out," MJ said. "Not like action movie party set piece, or worse, some super grim movie where everything's shot with super dark filters and it's all hopeless and we're all jaded and cynical and clearly written by white forty year olds."

"Yeah, that would suck," Ned said. "Remember, no matter what kind of movie we're in, don't drink punch or things in solo cups unless you see them get poured."

"Got it," Peter said. "Thank you for your wisdom, Ned."

"You're not even being sarcastic," MJ said. "I like that about you."

Later, after Peter had four beers and MJ had only two, he said, "I like everything about you."

"You've been holding that in for an hour," MJ said.

"I have," Peter said. They were sitting in a corner of the living room, their backs against the wall. There was a whole party surging around them, people drifting in and out or running in and out or generally lurching in and out of the room. People were funny. So far, it was definitely a nice white teen movie blow out, like a romantic comedy or a gross out comedy. Nothing too grim, everything in bright colors. He said, "I really like you."

"So I gathered," MJ said. "We should talk about something else. This is dull."

"Me talking about how I like you is dull? Yeah, probably," Peter said. He rubbed his face and his hands felt weird. Not bad weird, but weird definitely. Maybe he shouldn't have had so many beers.

His senses were starting to flare. He rubbed his face again and concentrated. He was not going to have an overload and ruin their movie party. He made sad noises and then stopped when he realized he was doing it. MJ reached over and made grabby hands at his scalp. It felt really nice.

Flash came over and bent down next to them. He said, very loudly, "Hey, you guys didn't drink anything not in a can, right? Some asshole put something in one of the drinks. There were guys freaking out on the lawn."

"Thanks, Flash," MJ said, slowly. "No, we just had the beer. In cans that hadn't been opened. Ned gave us a lecture."

"He's smart," Flash said. "So why is Parker all freaked out?"

"I'm not freaked out," Peter said. "My head hurts."

"He's just drunk," MJ said. "He's had four beers."

"Not freaking out," Peter said. "I'm sleepy."

Flash said, "You're such a lightweight."

"Thanks," MJ said. "Thanks for the warning."

Peter screwed his eyes shut and rested his head in MJ's lap. She said, "I can't believe drunk Peter is exhausted Peter."

"Possibly any version of Peter is exhausted Peter," Peter said. "You know, in the white teen movie blowout party, I think we're just, like, extras. In the background."

"Maybe you, I've got a few lines. I'm hot."

"Yes, you are," Peter said.

MJ sighed. She said, "Okay, fine, I can admit it. You're very conventionally attractive. Except for your one fucked up eyebrow, honestly, your features are symmetrical and you've got cheekbones and great hair."

"Well, you're symmetrical, too, take that." Peter curled up on the floor.

"I am, I know. Also, I meet the minimum requirement for female attractiveness by being skinny," MJ said. "Why do you think people put shit in the punch?"

"Some people like chaos," Peter said. "They just want to fuck up things and that's all they're thinking about." He curled up tighter.

"You're wise," she said. She played with his hair.

"I'm sleepy," Peter said. "If you want to go out, hang out with Teyana Taylor. She's not that much older than us. I checked, only eleven years. Maybe it's not creepy?"

"It's a little creepy," MJ said. "I'm just going to let you sleep in my lap. Maybe draw some stuff."

"You're a billionaire bitch," Peter said. MJ burst out laughing, shaking a little.

"I'm gonna let you sleep, I'm not going to let anyone draw on you except me," MJ said.

Peter opened his eyes and looked up at her. He said, "I love you."

MJ said, "Say it sober."

"I'll be too scared," Peter said. "I'm not lying now."

"You were lying at the last party when you told me five hundred times you weren't, you know, who you are," MJ said.

"Stoned then, drunk now, different," Peter said. "I'm seriously sleepy."

"Okay," she said. She was definitely petting his hair. She said, "I'll wake you up when Ned's ready to go." She kept petting his hair.


End file.
